Instinct
by MotherCrumpet
Summary: Peter Pettigrew is just a human being, and sometimes we just have to remember that... This is his story, one that has never been told before.


A mousy little boy played in his front yard. He was small for his six years of age and the other kids tended to pick on him. Right now he had spotted the boy who lived across the street and his gang of kids and was contemplating running inside or hiding under the porch. He had just started to scramble under the porch when his mother called him from inside the screened doorway.

"Peter!" She called, "Peter, come inside! Your father just got home and he's brought you a surprise!"

The boy's ears pricked up at the word 'surprise' and he immediately changed direction to clamber up onto the porch instead of under it. He strained to open the heavy screen door and remembered to stomp the dirt off his shoes before running inside and coming to a quick halt in the kitchen doorway.

"Come here and see him Pete," his father urged.

Peter walked forward cautiously to peer at the puppy. It had large front paws and would be huge someday. He reached out a timid hand to pet the dog's head. When the puppy licked his hand, he laughed in delight.

"Sit on the floor Pete," his father suggested and Peter obeyed immediately, "Here he is. Now play with him for a bit while you think of a name for him."

Peter played with that puppy until his mother called him for dinner.

"Have you thought of a name for him yet Peter?" His father asked as Peter ate his mashed potatoes quickly in order to get back to playing with the puppy.

Peter thought for a second. "Griffin," he announced suddenly, "I'll call him Griffin."

"That's a good name for him." His father agreed, "After all he's part Rhodesian Ridgeback, and they used to be used to hunt Griffins."

Peter smiled proudly as he turned back to his dinner.

* * *

A year or so later and Peter was still small for his age. Griffin had reached his full height and was a very large dog. He was fiercely loyal to Peter and kept the other kids from picking on Peter. Now they generally avoided the Pettigrew house and tended to cross the street when Peter and Griffin were seen walking down the same sidewalk they were on.

Peter was very proud of that dog. He had stopped the bullying of the other kids and kept him safe and protected from the dangers of the world. Griffin would do anything to protect his family, and the entire neighborhood knew it.

"Hey Griff," Peter peered across his yard early one afternoon, "Look there's kids coming over here!"

The dog's ears pricked and he was instantly on the alert as the laughing kids came nearer. When they crossed into the yard he began to growl, low in his throat.

"Shoot him with it already," One boy urged the biggest, oldest one.

"Hold on, I want to have some fun with the rat first." The boy responded.

The big one lived across the street and he tended to be the leader of the neighborhood gang of kids. He was a mean one, always picking on less fortunate kids. In other words, the younger, weaker, or smaller kids that tried to oppose him got teased and bullied mercilessly.

"Don't hurt him," A girl insisted.

"I won't hurt him, just his stupid dog," The biggest boy replied.

Griffin's growl turned menacing as the boy turned some object toward him. The boy squeezed the trigger devise and Griffin was hit with a tranquilizer dart designed to hit large wild animals with. The dose was enough to kill the large dog in moments. Griffin fell over, barking and snapping at the kids surrounding him, desperately trying to keep Peter away from them.

"What did you do to him?" The trusting Peter wailed.

He had thought the kids had wanted to play with him, not get rid of Griffin. Now Peter knelt beside his dying dog which could no longer see or remember anything other than he was surrounded by enemies. He kept snapping at the air in a desperate attempt to catch one of his enemies. Peter reached out a hand to calm him and the dog snapped at it, biting clear down to the bone.

Peter screamed in pain and the other kids scattered as Peter's mother came running out onto the porch and then to her son's aid. She rushed him to St. Mungos for treatment and Peter was treated and released, declared 'as good as new' later that day. Or that's what the doctors said anyway.

The problem with most Healers is that they tend to only look at physical problems. Too bad Peter's biggest problem wasn't physical. It was the seeds of doubt in those who tried to protect him, those he trusted. He was learning a harsh reality of life, there is always someone or something bigger and stronger than you that can and may defeat you.

* * *

When Peter was 11 he got his Hogwarts letter. His parents were so proud of him, proud that he had managed to make it into the most prestigious wizarding school in the UK. They had secretly worried a little about if he would make it into any school or if he was a squib, but he had proven to have what it took to get into the top school.

To celebrate, they planned to go on a big trip to America and see the wizard town inside the Statue of Liberty, the biggest tourist attraction in the country, possibly even the world. Peter was more excited than he had ever been in his life. He would talk about nothing else and he was packed to go weeks before he needed to be.

But Peter's father was hospitalized three days before they were supposed to leave. Peter hoped that his father would be cured and released as fast as Peter had when Griffin had bitten him, but his father was deathly ill. The morning that the family had been supposed to leave, Peter's father died and with him died Peter's last doubt that maybe everyone wouldn't betray him.

After all, a father is supposed to love and protect his son, even spoil him sometimes. He's definitely not supposed to die the day the family is supposed to go on a wonderful vacation and miss his son going away to Hogwarts and growing up. But that's what had happened and the seeds of instinct were firmly wedged into Peter's mind. He didn't think directly about trusted people being overcome by stronger forces, but the thought was always in his mind just the same.

It seemed to Peter, once again, that there was always someone stronger than those that you trusted to keep you safe, so, perhaps, if he found the strongest person of all he would be safe. Yes, finally he would be safe.

* * *

The day to leave for Hogwarts had arrived. He had hugged his mother goodbye in the train station and struggled to drag his trunk onto the train. He had run into a messy black haired boy in the corridor and immediately cowered in front of the taller, larger boy. Life had taught him to be wary of larger boys.

"Hello," The boy said in a friendly voice, "I'm James Potter."

"I-I-I'm Peter," Peter stammered, shocked that this boy was being nice to him. "Peter Pettigrew."

"D'you want some help with that trunk?" James asked the mousy boy, "It looks hard to drag."

"Oh," Peter thought for a second, wondering if this boy would really help him. He hadn't decided yet when the messy black haired boy lifted one end of the trunk.

"Come on, you can sit with me and Sirius."

The boys made their way down the corridor of compartments. By the time they reached Hogwarts, Peter knew he had found his protectors, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin. Surely nobody would want to mess with these boys. They could keep him safe from bullies and Slytherins.

When the Sorting ceremony had gotten underway, Peter began to grow nervous. Suppose he would be separated from these boys, his new friends who could keep him safe. As soon as they had run into the other first-years, Peter knew he had picked the right boys to protect him. Everyone looked at them with a sort of awe, well all except that redheaded Lily Evans. When James splashed her with lake water Evans got very mad, very quickly. She had rocked the boat and dumped them all into the cold lake. But Peter didn't care about her. After all, she was just a girl and his new friends had laughed at her anger anyway. They would get her back.

But suppose, just suppose that the hat Sorted him into a different house than they went into. He knew that Sirius was a Black, so usually he would automatically be in Slytherin, so perhaps that would be where they ended up. But Peter was relieved when Sirius was put in Gryffindor. Slytherin looked mean and intimidating from where he was standing with the other first-years.

"Pettigrew, Peter." Professor McGonagall announced.

Peter hesitated and Remus gave him an encouraging push forward. Peter walked up to the stool as confidently as he could and sat down, placing the hat on his head.

_**Hmm, Peter Pettigrew? Well, let's see. You've got a certain… intelligence about you. Not a typical intelligence, but an intelligence just the same. But you've also got your own sort of bravery. You're going to be well known someday. I wouldn't say it was a usual courage, but I suppose that's what it is. Yes, I think I'll put you in Gryffindor. That's where you belong; they'll help you to develop that distinctive courage.**_

And with that the hat yelled "GRYFFINDOR!" to the Hall and Peter got down off the stool, relieved that he hadn't been put in Slytherin. He headed over to the table and sat next to Sirius, who had been one of the first to be sorted.

"Marvelous!" Sirius bellowed as he clapped Peter on the shoulder, "That's half of us anyway! And the Potters are always being sorted into Gryffindor."

"You weren't sorted where your family usually is," Peter pointed out.

"Peter, don't ruin my optimism," Sirius replied, "You have to believe in people."

Peter nodded at the foreign concept, not really conceiving what the other boy meant. But all the same, Peter's doubts about his instincts regarding trusting people and bigger forces were roused again. And in the next seven years, he would learn to trust his new friends and several others. But instincts are hard to overcome, and Peter would struggle with them for the rest of his life.

* * *

"Peter!" Lily Evans, soon to be Lily Potter, exclaimed as she looked at him lying on the conjured stretcher, "Do you know what they hit you with? You're in awful shape."

"Lily, we have to get him to St Mungos," James insisted, laying a hand on his fiancée's shoulder. "He needs major help."

"There's no time James, look at the shape he's in," Lily insisted, and all present knew her to be right, "Can you think Peter? Do you know what they hit you with?"

The friends had been on a raid for the Order of the Phoenix. After graduating from Hogwarts, they had immediately joined the ever growing fight against Lord Voldemort. Peter had been struck by a curse from one of the Death Eaters and been sliced neatly across the chest. He was loosing blood fast and Lily was the only one that could save him.

"We lost two of our people," Sirius announced, catching up with his engaged friends and the floating stretcher. He caught sight of his injured friend. "Merlin, Wormtail!"

"Shut up Sirius," Lily snapped, and then her tone turned soothing. "Peter, can you hear me?"

Peter nodded weakly.

"Do you know what they hit you with? Can you tell me what spell they used?"

Peter opened his mouth to answer but James cut in.

"Hold on!" James grabbed the wand that was still clutched in Peter's hand and took it, "Okay, go on Wormtail."

"Nonverbal, think… Sectumsempra," Peter gasped before blacking out.

* * *

When Peter woke up he was in a dark room and wandless. He tried to sit up and groaned with the effort. Then he started to panic. After all, instincts told a person that waking up unprotected in a dark room when you don't know where you are is probably a very bad thing.

"Peter, don't move," Lily commanded, coming into the room and turning on lights, "Don't worry, you're in St Mungos. You're safe here."

Peter calmed down slightly at the familiar face, "I remember Sirius said something about losing two."

Lily looked sad, "The Death Eaters got two of our people on that raid. And we were afraid for a while that they had gotten you. But you're going to be okay."

Peter didn't answer and Lily went back out to let the others know that he had woken up. Peter struggled with the thoughts that were coursing through his head. His friends, the ones he had thought couldn't be defeated, had lost two people on a raid. And they hadn't been able to protect him; after all he had almost died. Doubt began to flow through his mind, perhaps his friends weren't the strongest after all. Perhaps they couldn't protect him outside of school. But he knew someone who could. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort. Yes, he was definitely undefeatable. Nobody had been able to even come close to beating him. Even Dumbledore wasn't strong enough to oppose Voldemort.

* * *

One might question why Peter betrayed his friends. Why was this boy put in Gryffindor and not in Slytherin? Surely that trembling boy who had sat on the stool under the sorting hat was not brave.

But Peter was brave, braver than many, but in an unusual way. Peter Pettigrew had the courage he needed to leave his friends, those he had never been more than a room away from, and turn to someone who had just been fighting to kill him. Peter Pettigrew would have the courage to stand up to the Dark Lord even though he failed in his attempt, but we are coming to that chapter in our story. Right now, let's return to the Peter who had just been released from St Mungos.

* * *

After he was released, Peter went to the home that he shared with James Potter, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. They had bought it right after leaving Hogwarts and James was trying to convince Lily to move in. Peter thought she might as well, she was there all the time anyway, but she continued to share a flat with her best friend, Alice Prewett. But after she and James got married they planned to get a little house in Godric's Hollow. Alice was engaged to Frank Longbottom so they could take that flat to live in.

"Peter!" His friend, Remus Lupin, exclaimed as he gave his old friend a hug, "You've been released!"

Peter nodded, "They let me out this afternoon."

"Who are you talking to Remus?" Lily Evans, soon to be Potter, called as she walked in from the kitchen. Her face broke into a huge grin when she caught sight of her newly healed friend. "Peter!"

Peter was hugged by his best friend's fiancée. He smiled happily, if only his mother could see him now. She had been after him to find a girl that liked him. Well, he had one, even if she was engaged to his best friend and was just a friend.

"Hey guys!" James' voice was heard calling from the kitchen. He walked into the hall but couldn't tell that Peter was there because he was standing in the shadows. "Who's that Lily's hugging?"

"It's Peter," Remus answered.

"Peter!" James went and joined in the hug, "You're back!"

Lily stepped back and stood next to Remus to watch the reunion, "Well, he seems to be doing okay."

"Which one?" Remus teased.

Lily laughed in reply, "Both I suppose."

James had been getting nervous about the wedding lately. He was afraid he might mess up the vows or step on Lily's dress while they were dancing. At this Lily had rolled her eyes and reminded him that he had never stepped on her dress while dancing before. James had retorted with 'there's a first time for everything' and the ever mature sticking out of the tongue.

James pulled a small square mirror out of his pocket and looked into it saying, "Sirius Black."

Sirius must have answered from the other end because James grinned and began talking to his best friend, informing him that Peter was out of the hospital.

Everyone laughed at Sirius' response of, "It's a good thing we're not still at Hogwarts, Poppy never would have let him out of her sight."

James broke the connection with a grin and turned back to his friends and fiancée. Everyone was smiling and talking at once, but none knew what the others were saying. But it didn't seem to matter because they were all safe and happy and together again. Sirius showed up not long after and joined in the incoherent babble.

Well, to be entirely correct, it should say that all except for Peter were happy. The man in question was thoughtful, fighting a battle against his instincts, and, unfortunately for the people surrounding him whose lives would be long and prosperous or destroyed because of his decision, it was a battle that he was losing.

* * *

Peter watched Lily Evans walk down the aisle. He and Remus stood beside Sirius who stood beside James. On the other side of the aisle stood Alice Longbottom in her matron of honor dress and to her other side stood Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows. Peter assumed that Emmeline Vance, another of Lily's good friends, was somewhere in the rows of guests.

Peter turned his attention back to Lily, who was almost to the end of the aisle by now. She was beaming and a single, happy tear ran down her cheek. She glanced to the empty seats in the front row that had been reserved for her sister and her brother-in-law, but they remained empty. Peter noticed Lily's happy smile fade slightly but then she turned her emerald gaze back to James and her smile instantly returned, stronger than before.

As Lily reached the altar, James entwined her fingers with his and the two turned to the minister expectantly. The ceremony was quick and simple. It seemed to be over as soon as it had started, but it was a beautiful ceremony. Not a single eye in the room was still dry. James kissed his bride firmly and when they finally broke apart, the two turned to the guests and he beamed as if to say 'can you believe **_she_** married **me**?'

The guests cheered the newlyweds as Fawkes the Phoenix began singing. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, he was thankful that there could be such love in the world as these two possessed, even in these dark times. Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who would die soon of old age, beamed at their son and daughter-in-law and Sirius let out his bark of a laugh.

At the reception everyone had a wonderful time, eating cake, dancing, and forgetting for once that times were dark and troublesome in the world. Even Peter, who had always been the wallflower of the Marauders, had a wonderful time. The Potters certainly knew how to throw a party.

Emmeline had brought a camera to document the entire event for Lily and James and Peter took it from her to get a shot of Lily and James laughing with Sirius. Then he got one of the newlyweds dancing, completely lost in their own world.

Even after Lily and James left, the celebration went on, seeing as how its guests seemed reluctant to reenter the dark outside world. But the best part was, James delivered his vows flawlessly and didn't step on Lily's dress while dancing, a fact that he pointed out for months to come.

* * *

Lily Evans Potter ran up to the form of her sleeping husband. They had been married for a while now, and even though they were afraid of losing the other, they were happy just to have as much time together as they had.

"James!" Lily cried, jumping on the large bed in their flat. Between their work and the Order of the Phoenix they hadn't had time to buy a house just yet. "James Potter, get up right now!"

"Five more minutes mum," James protested sleepily, before instantly being dead to the world again.

"James, I'm not your mum, and get up!" Lily bounced up and down on the bed, causing the covers to fly off James and him to bounce high into the air above the bed. "Get up, get up, get up!" Lily sang with each bounce, throwing James higher and higher into the air and closer and closer to the edge of the bed.

"Okay Lils, I'm up!" James bellowed from his new spot on the ground, Lily had bounced him right off the bed.

"Good!" His wife poked her head over the edge of the bed and peered at him.

"I'm up," James grumbled again, "But you never told me why I'm up."

"I have something to tell you," Lily replied, grinning at him from above, her emerald eyes sparkling with excitement.

"What is it?" James' curiosity was suddenly piqued. Lily told him everything, but for her to be this excited it had to be something massive.

"You know what; I don't think I'm going to tell you yet. I want breakfast first." Lily's head disappeared back over the edge of the bed, "Bring me some sausage and pancakes!"

James pulled himself up off the floor and surveyed his wife leaning back on the pillows and grinning secretly to herself. Her red hair was pulled into a bun and she was wearing her favorite pair of silk pajamas.

"Okay," James sighed, leaning over to give her a kiss.

Lily turned at the last second, causing James to kiss her cheek instead. She scrunched up her nose and smirked at him. He rolled his eyes knowing there would be no good morning kiss from his stubborn wife, let alone her news, before he got her sausage and pancakes.

"Do you want me to bring it in here or carry you into the kitchen?" James asked.

Lily grinned secretly again, "Carry us in there."

James gave her a weird look, "You said 'us'."

"Oh, I did, didn't I?" Lily looked thoughtful for a second, "Don't queens do that? Well anyway, carry us into the kitchen."

She held up her arms and James laughed, scooped his wife up, and carried her bridal style into the kitchen. He set her gently on the floor and she sat in 'her chair' at the table. He felt her sparkling green eyes on him as he made the pancakes and cooked the sausage. He kissed her as he set the sausage and pancakes on the table in front of her and this time she let him. He could almost taste her excitement as he pulled away and sat down in 'his chair'. She started eating with gusto and finished her plate before he could finish his. Then she speared one of his sausages with her own fork and stuck it in her mouth.

"Hey!" James protested, "That was my sausage!"

"Too bad," Lily stuck her tongue out at him as she swallowed, "I was hungry and you hadn't eaten it yet."

"I was saving it," James grumbled and Lily let out a wave of joyful laughter.

She sat back in her chair and watched him finish his sausage, her green eyes sparkling with unshared delight. James swallowed his last bite and stood up, taking both their plates and putting them in the sink. He noticed that Lily was watching him eagerly, waiting for him to ask what she wanted to tell him. James, always the Marauder, decided to have a little fun with his wife.

"I'm going to get a shower Lils," James announced, starting back through their small apartment towards the bedroom.

Lily stood up and followed him, her green eyes watching his every move appraisingly. He picked out some clothes and looked up into the mirror above the dresser to see her green eyes staring at him in the mirror. He turned and met her green eyes with his hazel ones. Both were thinking that if the other didn't say something soon they'd go crazy, James with curiosity and Lily with bursting to tell her news.

"Lily," James started as Lily said, "James."

Both stopped and looked at the other expectantly. James set his clothes on the dresser and raised an eyebrow at his wife. She grinned with her secret grin again, and shook her head; she was going to make him ask.

"What's your news Lils?" James sighed and Lily's grin grew.

She took her husband by the hand and led him over to sit on the end of the bed.

"James," Lily had never looked more happy and excited in her life, "We're going to have a baby."

James' mouth fell open in astonishment. He had been expecting something along the lines of 'I got promoted at work' or 'I think we should get a puppy'. He must have sat too long in astonishment because Lily's face fell.

"I thought you'd be excited," Lily murmured sadly and she pulled her hand out of his. She stood up as if to go when James grabbed her, spun her around and kissed her like he had never done before.

"Lily, I have never been more excited in my life, when's the little guy coming?" James hugged his wife tightly and the secretive smile spread across both their faces.

"Not until late July," Lily replied, taking James' hand and laying it on her abdomen, "And the baby might not be a 'little guy'. Our baby could be a girl you know."

"He's a little guy," James replied confidently, kissing his wife again. "Oh Lils, I'm so happy and excited!"

"Why are you excited?" Sirius walked through the door with a biscuit in each hand.

"We're having a baby!" James thumped Sirius on the back enthusiastically, causing his best friend to spit the bite of biscuit in his mouth across the room.

"What?" Sirius thrust the biscuits into James hands and rushed over to Lily, forcing her to sit back down on the bed "Why aren't you sitting down? You're going to get all tired standing and we can't have you sick while you're pregnant with my little nephew."

"Technically you're not going to be an Uncle, Sirius," Lily pointed out. "And what if the baby is a girl?"

"He's not," Sirius announced just as confidently as James had, "And I am so going to be an Uncle. This little Marauder can call me 'Uncle Sirius'."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Okay, 'Uncle Sirius'. But if the baby is a girl you two have to promise not to be disappointed."

"Yes ma'am," James and Sirius saluted.

"Wait until I tell Alice," Lily stood up, kissed her husband soundly and practically skipped out of the room.

"She looks so beautiful," James stared dumbly after his wife.

"Just you wait, in a couple months she's going to be very easy to agitate," Sirius commented dryly.

"She's easy to agitate now." James replied honestly, "Do you suppose it could be a Maraudette?"

Sirius and James looked at each other, and then said at the same time, "Not a chance!"

* * *

Peter woke up one night in a cold sweat, crying out in fear and imagined pain. It was a moment before he realized that he had only been dreaming about that fateful raid. Then he closed his mouth, stopped screaming and lay back on the pillows.

He struggled to get his fear under control. He shivered in the hot summer air in terror and forced himself to take deep breaths, but it was no use. He was going through PAS, post attack syndrome. Lily and the nurses at the hospital had told him that he might experience realistic nightmares about the raid, but Peter hadn't known how badly it could affect someone. Now he realized why Lily and James were inseparable during the nights after someone had been hurt or killed on a raid. They comforted one another, making the other feel safe and loved and reminding them that everything was alright, it had only been a dream.

Peter wished desperately that he had someone to comfort him when he woke up screaming in the night from horrible nightmares. But Peter had nobody, and that fact made him envious of his best friend and his best friend's wife. Why should they be allowed to feel perfectly safe and happy when they were together while he had to suffer on his own? And they were expecting a baby!

Peter's fear turned to jealousy and then to anger. But he did not sleep; he still was too terrified of what might come to him if he did, terrified of the dreams that visited him in the ungodly hours of the morning.

Instead Peter sat and thought, continuing his fight against instinct. And it was then, in the early hours of the morning when Peter sat scared and alone, that instinct finally won the battle. He would think about it extensively later, struggling futilely against his already made-up mind, but there was no possible way he could win the battle now. His instincts were just too hard to overcome. Tomorrow he would go out and find the larger force in the world, a force he knew lay with Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

* * *

**_Perhaps I shouldn't be here,_** Peter thought to himself as he wandered through Knockturn Alley, the only place he would be sure to find a Death Eater. **_Maybe I was wrong, possibly our side can win._**

But Peter knew he was lying to himself. He had no faith in the side he was fighting for. Sure, he didn't believe in what the Dark Lord and Death Eaters were doing, but he certainly wanted to be allied with the superior force, the one that would win in the end. Even though Peter had his strange courage, he was still a coward when it came to being bullied by the stronger person.

"What could filth like you be doing here?" A sneering voice said from a dark corner somewhere behind Peter.

Peter squeaked in fright and turned around, attempting to pull his wand out of his robes as he did so. Unfortunately his wand had gotten stuck in a loose string and Peter ended up ripping a huge hole in the front of his robes in his haste. The other person laughed and stepped out of the shadows, revealing a very familiar wand wielding figure.

"I knew you were unintelligent, but I didn't know you were this stupid," Severus Snape sneered at the other wizard. "You have the brains of a two-year-old venturing into Knockturn Alley without your bodyguards, Black, Potter and Lupin. You'd have to be pretty thick to come in here even with all three of them, but by yourself…"

Peter looked around automatically for an escape route. Upon seeing none, he remembered why he had come here in the first place and took a deep breath, "I k-k-know you're a D-D-Death Eater."

Snape laughed, "You have no proof of that theory so you can't land me in Azkaban."

"I-I-I don't need p-p-p-proof for what I-I-I want," Peter tried to look confident but failed miserably. He continued on in a squeaky voice, "I-I-I want t-t-to j-join the D-D-Death E-eaters."

Snape's laughter grew more abundant, "You don't honestly think I'm going to fall for that and take you to visit the Dark Lord? Who do you take me for? You?"

Peter winced at the sound of Snape's laughter and took a step back.

"What do we have here?" The drawling voice of Lucius Malfoy asked as its owner stepped out of the shadows. "Well done Severus; It seems you've found Potter's little friend."

"He says he wants to become a Death Eater," Snape laughed as he informed the new arrival.

"Now, now, Severus, one must not laugh at other people's dreams and ambitions," Lucius scolded, "I think we should ask him why he wants to become a Death Eater."

Snape stopped laughing and an evil smile spread across his face, "Yes, yes, that sounds like a splendid idea Lucius."

And the two Death Eaters turned and pointed their wands at Peter, who had stood dumbly watching the exchange instead of escaping.

Peter suddenly found his voice. "No!" He fell to his knees, begging the two pitifully. "D-d-don't hurt me. I'll tell you, just please, please don't hurt me!"

The two exchanged looks and shrugged, lowering their wands slightly. Peter's own wand lay forgotten on the street in front of him.

"T-They'll never be able to d-defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. They th-think they can, but I know b-better. You called me stupid earlier, well, m-maybe I'm not very b-bright, but I k-know when it's useless to r-resist. I k-know when we're sure to l-lose. I-I want to be on the w-winning side, y-your side."

The two Death Eaters looked at each other and lowered their wands the rest of the way.

"He's not as stupid as he seems," Snape observed.

"We should take him to the Dark Lord, but blindfolded so he doesn't know where he's going. If he's telling the truth and will be loyal, then the Dark Lord will know it. But if he's lying…" Lucius let his words hang ominously and Peter gulped.

"I-I'm n-n-not lying," Peter insisted weakly.

"Very well then," Snape pointed his wand at Peter's and levitated it into his own grasp, "Let's blindfold him and take him there."

"If he proves to be telling the truth then he will be a very worthy spy." Lucius drawled as he blindfolded a trembling Peter.

* * *

Peter's blindfold was removed what seemed like eons later. He found himself in the center of a room filed with robed and masked people. One person sat in front of him, swathed completely in shadows. All the rest stood, some in the silvery moonlight, others in the shadows. He had been taken to Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

Peter gulped nervously as Lucius stepped back into his place in the circle. He had been the one to remove the blindfold and now he was standing completely alone, facing the most feared wizard in the world.

"So, what do we have here?"

The voice came from the seated person. It was the voice of Lord Voldemort, a voice that sent cold daggers of fear into the hearts of wizards braver, stronger, and wiser than Peter Pettigrew. It was almost too much for the wizard to take and he began to shake in fear.

"Look into my eyes Wormtail." Voldemort commanded.

Peter instantly did as he was told, wondering vaguely how Lord Voldemort knew his nickname that he friends had given him. Upon looking into the slits of red, he put up the slightest struggle when Voldemort began to delve into his thoughts, his memories. He watched memory after memory play itself in his head; waking up after his latest nightmare, Lily and James' wedding, reuniting with his friends, seeing Lily after reviving from his unconsciousness in the hospital, being attacked by Death Eaters on the raid.

Then the memories went even farter back; James asking him to be a groomsman, buying the house with the Marauders, James proposing to Lily, graduating Hogwarts, NEWTS in 7th year, OWLs in fifth year, seeing Remus in werewolf form for the first time, changing into Wormtail for the first time, being sorted, his father dying, Griffin's death, receiving Griffin, being bullied by the neighbor kids.

And, just as suddenly as it started, Peter's trip down memory lane stopped. He opened his eyes and found himself back in the room, kneeling on the floor and looking into the red slits of Voldemort's eyes.

"Yes, he will do nicely as a spy. Malfoy, give him a Mark and send him home. Snape, I wish to speak with you alone."

"Yes Master," the two Death Eaters chorused.

Leave me, my Death Eaters," Voldemort commanded and the Death Eaters obeyed silently, filing out of the room. Lucius followed with Peter.

After a few moments Voldemort spoke to the one remaining Death Eater in the room, "Snape, you are in my favor. You brought me tidings of the Prophesy and I know you an accomplished Occlumens. I wish you to go to Dumbledore, convince him that you are sorry for what you have done and become a second spy in the Order of the Phoenix to keep an eye on Wormtail."

"Yes Master." Snape nodded and melted into the darkness and left the room leaving Voldemort to ponder his next plan to cause terror in the wizarding world.

* * *

"Lily calm down," James said calmly, trying to soothe his pregnant wife who was near hysterics because she couldn't find her other shoe.

"I am calm!" Lily snapped.

James sighed; she was getting increasingly hard to calm down and easier to stir up. "How about you wear these shoes?"

Lily's eyes lit up and her smile returned, "Oh, thanks James! I love you!"

"I love you too Lils," James replied, glad that he had managed to say the right thing for once.

James waited patiently as his four month pregnant wife got her shoes on and stood up.

"Let's go James; we're going to be late for the Order party!" Lily grabbed her husband's arm and dragged him over to the fireplace to floo to the party which was being held in a secret room at the Hog's Head.

James knew better than to point out that she was the one who was making them run late. He pulled out the floo powder and threw a pinch onto the fire. He let Lily go first and then followed a minute later.

"Come on James!" Lily once again grabbed his arm and James was reminded that his young wife was not fond of the tavern they were passing through.

They came to the secret wall back near the bathrooms and James laid a palm on the brick, muttering the password as he did so. Then he and Lily walked though the seemingly solid wall, Lily relaxing her grip on his arm as they reached the other side. Then, together, they walked down the short passage and knocked on the door at the end. Remus Lupin peered out the spy hole and gave some sort of signal to the others inside before opening the door.

"Lily, James!" Remus hugged Lily first and then James, "I heard the news! Congratulations!"

Lily beamed and James grinned, their friend had been on assignment for the Order elsewhere so they hadn't been able to tell him about the baby.

"James is going to be so proud of this little Marauder!" Remus laughed, pulling his friends inside the secret room and closing the door.

"What if it's a girl?" Lily demanded and James tensed.

"He's not," Remus was just as confident as James and Sirius had been.

Lily looked from James to Remus to the newly arrived Sirius and laughed, "You three are so confident. I thought the mother was supposed to be the first one to know."

"I think we've finally got her convinced he's a little Marauder," James joined in his wife's laughter.

Remus and Sirius threw back their heads and added their howls and barks of laughter respectively. Peter wandered over to the group, trying to remain calm at his first Order Meeting that he was to spy at.

"Congrats on the little Marauder, Lily," Peter squeaked and his friends laughed harder. Peter added his squeaky laughter to the group, even though he had no idea why they were laughing.

After a while Lily wandered over to Alice, who was about 4 and ½ months pregnant. Marlene, Dorcas, and Emmeline also joined them to catch up.

A little later Emmeline Vance called everyone over to get a picture taken of the Order. Peter sat between James and Lily a tad bit awkwardly, but nobody noticed. Everyone talked and laughed excitedly for the rest of the party, and all agreed that it was the best time that any of them had had in a long, long time.

* * *

Two weeks later Lily had the second largest shock of her life. It was a Saturday and she was sitting with the Marauders in the kitchen of her and James' flat. They were catching up when there was an urgent knocking on the door to the flat. Lily got up and went to go get it. She opened the door to find Emmeline Vance, Dorcas Meadows and Alice Longbottom standing in the doorway.

"Lily!" Alice immediately threw herself onto her best friend. She was crying hysterically.

"Alice calm down!" Lily took her friends inside and sat them on the couch, "What's going on?"

"It's Marlene," Dorcas said, she looked as if she wanted desperately to cry but couldn't. "Her whole family's been killed by Death Eaters."

Lily gasped and looked as if she might faint. Thankfully, James appeared out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around her to steady her.

"Is she?" Lily couldn't bear to say the rest of that horrid sentence.

Peter, Remus and Sirius came into the room just as Dorcas answered Lily's question, "Nobody made it out Lily. Marlene is dead."

* * *

Peter lay awake that night, feeling sick. He had never felt this sick in his entire life. What had he done? He was the one who had told the Dark Lord of Marlene's position in the Order. He had as good as killed one of his oldest friends.

Peter ran to the bathroom and retched. He felt slightly better, but only slightly. He returned to his room and clambered back into bed. Suddenly remembering that he felt emotions less while in Animagi form he transformed into a rat.

If he had not been an Animagi then he wouldn't have been able to survive the guilt that killing his friend had caused. During the day he managed to keep busy and the excitement of being a spy kept him exhilarated, but at night, at night was another story. He was forced to think about his terrible deeds and the deaths and pain he had caused.

Peter was a wreck, but everyone attributed it to the grief that losing his friend would cause. Nobody suspected that Peter had been the reason that Marlene McKinnon and her family were now dead. In fact, Remus Lupin was the member under the most suspicion.

* * *

"Sure he's a werewolf, but there's no way he's a spy!" James protested, pacing around in aggravation.

Lily and James were sitting in Dumbledore's office discussing the possibility of a spy in the Order. Dumbledore wanted them to be the ones to try and find the spy.

"It's not Remus," Lily agreed firmly.

"I know you are loyal beyond belief to your friends, but you must view each person with the same amount of care." Dumbledore replied pointedly, "I did not think that any of the members would be capable of spying for Voldemort."

Lily sighed, looking at the picture that had been taken at the party again, "I don't know who it could be Albus. I thought they were all friends; I couldn't point an accusing finger at a single one of them."

James nodded in agreement with his wife, "We'll try and find out who it is, but I'm not making any promises Albus."

Dumbledore smiled a grim sort of smile, "I know you will both try your hardest and I'm glad that Lily will be able to remain involved."

Lily unconsciously laid her hand on her growing belly, "I'm glad of it too."

James stopped pacing and laid a hand on Lily's shoulder, "Are you sure we're not in immediate danger?"

"You will always be in danger James," Dumbledore observed wisely, "Since you are two of the most talented of your time. But you are in no more immediate danger than any of the rest of us."

James looked relieved. He and Lily had decided that they would stay in the Order as long as possible, but if they became obvious targets for Voldemort they would go into hiding to protect their child.

"Thank you, sir." James and Lily left the office, each lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

Peter suspected that James and Lily were the ones Dumbledore had picked to ferret out the spy, so he did his best to remain seemingly stupid in front of them. While doing so, he noticed that Remus seemed to be their main concern. Occasionally he would walk in on Lily and James talking softly and he was sure that he had heard 'werewolf' and 'Moony' come up on more than one eavesdropping round.

He did his best to make the werewolf look like the guilty party. Peter was no longer concerned about anyone other than himself and his own skin. Keeping himself alive and out of suspicion was his first and only priority. And, so far, he had been doing and excellent job of it.

* * *

James, Lily, Remus, Sirius and Peter rushed into the house over which the Dark Mark hovered. It was the home of Dorcas Meadows and they feared the worst. Dorcas was an admirable enemy, she was strong with spell work, spectacular at both curses and hexes and good at charms. None were overly surprised that she had been targeted by the spy, but Peter did his best at seeming unsure of what they would find. His best was a mediocre performance, but the others were too distracted to notice.

James had tried for a second to convince Lily to go home when they caught sight of the hovering Mark, but had given up quickly seeing as how Dorcas was one of Lily's oldest and closest friends. So, the six month pregnant woman had come with them, and James was sure he'd run if he were a Death Eater meeting his very angry, very pregnant wife.

They arrived in the living room just in time to see Voldemort hit Dorcas with Avada Kedavra. Lily let out a cry of fury and sorrow and sent a curse flying towards Voldemort. He turned to meet her attacks and James was instantly beside her to help.

Peter watched in horror as his best friend and his pregnant wife battled the Dark Lord side by side. Sirius joined the couple in the fight but Remus and Peter both stayed rooted to the spot. After a heated battle, Voldemort disaparated with a pop, leaving the five friends to look around the room in horror at what had just happened.

"We were just a second too late!" Lily had tears streaming down her face as she sunk to the floor next to her deceased friend.

James crouched down next to her and put his arms around her, she buried her head in his shoulder and he held her while she cried, "Sirius, can you cover her up? Remus, go and alert the Order. Peter, can you take a quick look around the house to make sure that nobody is still here and then you and Sirius can go stand watch outside."

The three Marauders nodded and solemnly went about their tasks. James feared that the trauma was going to make Lily lose the baby, but he said nothing to her, just scooped her up off the floor (a feat since she was so far along in her pregnancy) and carried her over to a sofa. Then he sat down and held her on his lap, stroking her hair and murmuring comfortingly in her ear.

"That's two of them James," Lily whispered once she could cry no more, "There's only three of us left! Two of the girls I spent seven years of Hogwarts with have been murdered, all because of that spy that we can't figure out who it is!"

"Shh, I know Lils." James replied, "But you need to calm down. Getting worked up isn't good for the baby."

Lily looked as if she might cry again, "Oh, if I lost him… You don't think I'm going to lose him, do you? Oh James!"

"No Lily, I don't think you're going to lose him," James soothed his wife as much as he could, "I'm just saying that Dorcas and Marlene wouldn't want you to endanger yourself and the baby by getting all worked up right now. Okay?"

Lily sniffed, and wiped her tearstained face on his shoulder. "Okay."

"That's my girl." James gave his wife a quick kiss on the temple, "I'm going to go make sure that Pete's checked all the rooms. You stay here."

"Okay."

Lily sat on the couch, a shell of the vivacious person she had been just a few months ago at that party. She covered her swollen abdomen protectively and felt for the familiar kicking of their baby inside. His tiny feet thumped around and she sighed, relieved that he seemed to be alright. Looking over to the covered body that lay on the ground she began to think again about the spy. This time she managed not to get worked up.

"James!" She cried, a fact suddenly dawning upon her.

"He's outside talking to Dumbledore," Sirius replied as he walked into the room, "What's wrong Lils?"

Lily stood up and walked out of the room in search of James, "I need to talk to him about something."

The redhead went outside where she spotted James talking to the newly arrived Dumbledore. It seemed that he had come on his own; Remus had not contacted him yet. This added to Lily's growing suspicions, but she couldn't bring herself to believe that Remus could betray and murder two old friends. Lily walked over to the two, or more waddled, and waited until they finished discussing what it was they were discussing.

Lily wasn't listening until she heard Dumbledore ask, "So that's the second time you and Lily and faced Voldemort?"

"Third," Lily corrected automatically, forgetting that they didn't know she was standing right there.

James jumped slightly and then brought his wife up beside him, "Lily's right. That was the third time."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a second, "There's Remus now. I think I'll go inside and take a look around. You said Sirius covered the body?"

"Yes sir," James replied as Lily laid her head on his shoulder, "And Pete checked the house for any stray Death Eaters. There were none. It appears that Voldemort wanted to kill Dorcas himself."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a second again before bidding the couple goodnight and going into the house.

"I couldn't find Albus," Remus announced, coming up to Lily and James, "But I did let the rest of the Order know. Those on duty came with me."

"Albus is inside," James told the group and then watched as they went inside. "I don't think you'll need me anymore, but I'll be at home with Lily if you do."

Remus nodded and followed the others into the house. Peter watched the entire thing unnoticed from the shadows under a tree.

"James," Lily said quietly, but loudly enough that Peter could still hear clearly. "We need to talk about Moony."

"I know Lils," James replied. "But wait until we get home."

The couple walked off, arms around each others' waists, each thinking their own thoughts.

Peter was ecstatic, his rouse had worked. It appeared that the couple had no idea that he was the spy. All their suspicions were on Remus. Now he had to make sure that neither Sirius nor Remus suspected him. It'd be best for them to each think that the other was the spy.

* * *

Peter rubbed his eyes tiredly. It was late in the afternoon of July 31st. He had been at the hospital since the ungodly hours of the morning. Lily had gone into labor and they were all clustered in the waiting room, hoping to hear if it was a boy or not. Sirius had bet Frank twenty sickles that the baby was a boy and both were standing eagerly by the door, hoping to hear the news.

Frank's own son, Neville, had been born the day before. As soon as Alice heard that Lily was in labor she sent Frank to find out if the baby was a boy or girl and what he/she looked like.

Remus gazed out the window tiredly. Although unvoiced, the suspicions that Lily and James had that Remus was the spy restricted their friendship with him. Poor Remus thought perhaps Lily and James didn't want a werewolf around their newborn. Peter just played along with the others, still trying to make Sirius and Remus suspect each other of being the spy.

"Oi, Remus, how much longer do you reckon it'll be?" Sirius called suddenly as he plopped into an armchair.

Remus glanced at the clock, "I'd say another couple minutes."

"Does it always take this long?" Sirius whined worriedly, looking up at Frank for confirmation.

Frank nodded, "I'm sure that Lily and the baby are just fine. Alice was in labor all night before Neville came."

Sirius looked relieved.

Suddenly a cry of happiness came from behind the doors to the delivery ward. The group jumped up eagerly. They all gathered in front of the doors waiting for the news.

"The Potter child has been born," a nurse announced. "You may all go and see the Potter family shortly."

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Sirius asked.

The nurse smiled secretly, "They say that you'll see when you come in."

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Sirius started through the door but the nurse stopped him.

"Hold on a minute, Mr. and Mrs. Potter are both quite tired and the new baby needs to be cleaned up before you can go in."

"But I'm the godfather!" Sirius exclaimed, "I'm his uncle, I'll see him dirty plenty of times!"

The nurse laughed and shook her head, "I wouldn't want to irk Mrs. Potter at the moment. After the way she was screaming at Mr. Potter and shouting her fair share of expletives, I'd be a little cautious if I were you."

Sirius paled slightly and sat down in his chair again, "All right, just come and get me later then."

The others followed his lead and sat in the chairs just outside the delivery ward. It was another twenty or thirty minutes until the nurse reappeared through the doors and beckoned for the four men to follow her.

When Peter walked into the room that Lily and James occupied he saw them lying side by side on the bed, Lily with the baby in her arms and James with Lily in his. He forced a smile onto his face as Lily and James turned their heads to their friends.

"Hello little Marauder!" Sirius exclaimed, reaching out in an attempt to scoop the little baby out of his mother's arms.

"Don't even think about it!" Lily snapped, cradling her newborn even closer to her, "Your hands are filthy!"

Sirius glanced at his hands and attempted to wipe the pocket fuzz and chocolate off his hands. (He had stuffed them into his pockets right after eating a slightly melted chocolate frog.) Then he held out his hands to Lily to inspect who shook her head in disgust. Sirius' face fell.

"There is a sink right over there Padfoot," Remus pointed through a door and into the bathroom.

Sirius let out a cry of joy and darted into the small room in order to scrub his hands. A moment later he was presenting his still sopping wet hands to Lily.

"Sirius, go and dry your bloody hands or you can't hold my baby." James announced authoritatively.

"Our baby," Lily corrected.

"Yes Prongs," Sirius mimicked, sticking his tongue out at his friend, "Our baby."

"Go dry your hands!" James barked and Sirius turned and hurried to do so, muttering something along the lines of 'all you do is nag, nag, nag!'

Remus crossed over to stand beside James and peered at the baby. James looked up at him expectantly. After a moment, Remus nodded, "That's going to be one hell of a Marauder."

Frank looked at the baby too, "That's James' messy hair."

"But those are Lily's eyes," Remus pointed out.

Peter eyed the group nervously, babies always made him nervous, "He's tiny."

Lily laughed, "It may be hard to believe Pete, but you were once this small too."

Peter shook his head, "Nuh huh, I was smaller, premature baby." Peter puffed his chest at this statement and stood proudly and Lily smiled at him.

"Give the little bugger here!" Sirius scooped the baby out of Lily's arms before she could utter a word of protest. "Ha, I knew you'd be a boy!"

"What's his name?" Remus asked.

"Harry." James announced.

"James." Lily spurted at the exact same time.

"What?"

"No, I mean James should be Harry's middle name." Lily tore her gaze from her baby to look at her husband who grinned.

"You want to name him after me?" James' grin spread across his entire face.

Lily rolled her eyes, "Well he'd be teased tremendously if we named him after me, so I figured we'd have to name him after you."

James scrunched up his nose before giving his wife a quick kiss, "I can live with that."

"Good, because you're going to have to."

"Not going to name him after me, huh?" Sirius asked, tickling Harry under the chin.

"Sorry Sirius, but I think there's only room in the world for one of you," Lily replied, "And don't you dare toss him into the air!"

Sirius looked guilty, "I wasn't going to toss Harry into the air."

"Sure you weren't," James stood up and walked over to take Harry from his best friend, "I'm sure he'll love to fly, but now is not the best time for him to get acquainted with that feeling."

"Like you didn't already toss him into the air," Sirius whispered.

"I couldn't help it, he's so toss-able," James replied, "But don't tell Lily or Harry won't have a father for much longer."

Sirius crossed his heart and reached to take Harry back but James kept a firm hold on his son.

"Do you want to hold him Moony?" James held the baby to his friend who hesitated for a second.

"I've never held a baby before." Remus admitted as he reached to take Harry from James, "He doesn't have silver safety pins in his diapers or anything, does he?"

James shook his head and laughed at his friend's reservations. "No silver safety pins."

"Good." Remus took Harry from James and Harry immediately snuggled into the werewolf's arms.

"It looks like he likes you," Lily commented.

"Do you want to hold him Wormtail?" Remus asked, holding Harry out towards Peter.

"S-sure," Peter stammered nervously, "Erm, I'll hold him."

Remus handed Harry to Peter who held him awkwardly. Harry started to wail as soon as Remus let go. This upset Peter who did his best to comfort the crying baby and not drop him. Why was he the only one Harry didn't like? Why should Harry cry only when he took him?

"I'll take him Wormtail," James reached out and took Harry from Peter. Harry quieted immediately as James held him against his shoulder.

"I would let you hold him Frank, but he seems cranky. We all need a nap. Tell Alice I say hi."

"Okay, I'll see you later," Frank replied as he led the way out of the room. He was shortly followed by Peter, Remus and a reluctant Sirius.

Peter glanced back one last time before going through the door. He saw James sitting on the bed beside Lily who lay her head against his shoulder and sighed contentedly as she watched her newborn baby drift into a peaceful sleep, safe in the arms of his father.

* * *

Peter walked into the meeting for the Order of the Phoenix. The first friends he spotted were Lily and Alice sitting in the corner with their babies. Then he spotted a new face, Severus Snape.

_What is he doing here?_ Peter thought, _The Dark Lord must not trust me to spy on my friends. I don't know why he's so interested in them anyways. They're not that interesting of people. I wonder if we're getting food at this meeting…_

Peter made his way over to sit with the other Marauders. Each looked skeptical. Sirius was glaring at Snape, Remus was pretending he hadn't noticed him, and James kept looking towards Lily and Harry to make sure they were safe as if Snape would harm them in front of the entire Order.

"Before we begin I would like to introduce a new member."

At the sound of Dumbledore's voice the room went completely silent and everyone hurried to take their seats. Peter sat down between Remus and Sirius, hoping that the empty seat signified their suspicions of the other.

"This is Severus Snape. And before any of you say anything I want to make it clear that I trust him completely."

Sirius, who was about to ask that very question, closed his mouth and returned to glaring at Snape. Remus looked mildly interested, wondering what Snape had done to gain Dumbledore's trust. James raised his eyebrows and looked at Lily, who smiled reassuringly whilst bouncing baby Harry on her knee.

Peter tried to hide his seething anger at Snape's presence. This was supposed to be his job; he didn't need a babysitter. Then he remembered who he worked for and the anger dissolved into fear. What if the Dark Lord was angry with him and Snape was meant to be his replacement? The Dark Lord never bothered to keep around useless followers. Peter suppressed a shudder and tried to listen to the rest of the meeting so he could report every single word to his master correctly and, hopefully, save his own skin.

* * *

"You say they plan to go into hiding?" Voldemort questioned, petting the snake beside him thoughtfully.

"Yes M-master," Peter stuttered.

"Good, I want you to convince them to make you their Secret-Keeper. If you fail to do that, at least find out who their Secret-Keeper is."

"Y-yes M-master."

"You may go; I have planning to do."

Peter turned and scurried out of the room, eager to put as much difference between him and Voldemort as possible.

* * *

Remus and Sirius sat in the Potter's living room watching each other, but trying to make it look like they weren't. It was Harry's first birthday and they were waiting for the other guests to get there before the party started.

_Look at him, sitting here and acting like he's not the one that's betraying Lily, James and Harry to the Dark Lord. _Sirius thought, _He makes me sick; how could I have ever been friends with him?_

_**How can someone who's betraying his best friends (and James is practically his brother) to Voldemort show up at a party for their year-old son? **_Remus thought, **_I don't regret being friends with him at Hogwarts, but now I can barely look at him, he disgusts me too much._**

So the two sat there, sizing each other up and trying to figure out the easiest way to get rid of the other until the guests arrived some time later. But they had been being watched the entire time by a lone figure.

Peter squeaked with pleasure as his two friends continued to size each other up during the party. His plan to make them suspect each other had worked marvelously.

* * *

"But I like this little house," Lily protested.

"Why do we have to move out of our flat?" James asked, "We're about to go into hiding anyways."

"You need to move so that nobody knows where you are." Remus explained again, "Even though you're in hiding, Voldemort could still find your apartment building and burn it or something."

James heaved a sigh; he wasn't overly fond of change. "Can't we at least buy a big house?"

"No," Lily insisted, "I want a little house and besides we don't need a mansion, there are only three of us after all."

"There were only three of us and I grew up in a mansion," James muttered.

"Exactly, and look how you turned out."

James scowled at his wife, "Sometimes I forget why I married you."

"Prongs, how can you forget something like that?" Sirius asked, "You've loved the woman since you were eleven after all."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"No problem Prongsie," Sirius replied, missing the sarcasm.

"Are we going to go inside?" Peter asked, gazing at the little cottage in Godric's Hollow.

"No." Lily announced, "I like the outside. If we go in, there will probably be something wrong with the inside."

"But if we don't go in there will definitely be something wrong with the inside and you'll make me fix it," James pouted, "Besides, I don't want you and Harry in a house that you don't like."

Harry burbled in agreement.

"Well that settles it," James laughed, taking his son from his wife's arms, "Harry agrees with me."

"Harry can't make all the decisions James," Lily pointed out. "After all, he's only a year old."

James stuck his tongue out in response.

Lily looked to the Heavens as if saying; 'see what I have to deal with?' "Great, my child's father just stuck his tongue out at me. James, Harry is as mature as you are, and he's barely a year old."

Harry stuck his tongue out as if to prove Lily's point and James made a face, "You're not helping me little Marauder."

"He's a mommy's boy," Sirius observed. Lily glared at him and he quickly added, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"He loves us equally." Lily announced with finality and Harry once again burbled in agreement.

"Are we going in or not?" Peter asked the others, confused.

"Fine, we'll go in." Lily took Harry back from James, set him on the ground and took his hand. Lily patiently helped Harry toddle over to the house and opened the door. "Are you coming?"

"Yes." James shook his head and followed his family into the house. The other Marauders trailed after him.

* * *

"You say they plan to buy the house in Godric's Hollow?" Voldemort asked Peter.

"Yes my Lord," Peter squeaked, "And they are planning to make Sirius their Secret-Keeper."

"Good," Voldemort's face twisted into an evil smile, "You have done well Wormtail."

* * *

"Thank you for your concern sir, but Sirius would die rather than betray us."

Dumbledore gazed at the trio in front of him over his half-moon spectacles with concern. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes," Lily and James both answered and even Harry used his favorite word to agree with them.

"Well, since Harry seems to agree, I suppose it's settled. But my offer still stands."

"Thank you sir, but we won't need to take you up on that offer. Sirius would never betray us or Harry to Voldemort." James stood up and Lily copied his action while holding Harry safely in her arms.

"Then I wish you the best of luck. We will meet again Harry."

Harry burbled a response and gazed at the old man with curiosity. The he smiled at him and trilled a note of happiness.

"Goodbye Albus," James shook the old man's hand.

"Goodbye James and Lily and good luck."

The two clasped hands and looked at each other for a moment before James let go, put an arm around his wife and walked out of the room for the last time. Dumbledore would never see the couple alive again, but he would keep his promise to Harry. The two great wizards would meet again.

* * *

"James!" Lily laughed as her husband struggled to carry a huge stack of boxes into the house, "You can use magic you know."

"I don't want the neighbors to see." James protested.

Lily set Harry in his swing and took the top box from her husband, "Honey, the nearest neighbors live almost a mile away!"

"You can never be too careful," James replied as he set down the remaining boxes, "I saw a man walking his dog down the street this morning."

"Oh no, a man walking his dog you say?" Lily teased, "We're in trouble now."

James scowled, "I'm just saying that I don't want anything to go wrong. I'll sleep better knowing that you and Harry are safe."

Lily's face grew soft and she hugged her husband. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"James, you haven't been sleeping at all. Are you really that worried?"

"I just want to be careful, that's all. I don't want to make a mistake and lose either of you."

Lily drew back a little bit and looked at her husband's face. He looked tired and worried and she saw fear in his eyes, something that she had only seen there a few times before. Once after Remus had experienced a particularly bad transformation, once when Peter had been nearly killed by Death Eaters, once when Sirius had been in a duel with his younger brother, and once when she had nearly fallen a thousand feet off a broomstick into the lake at Hogwarts. In fact, thinking about it, the only time James was afraid was when one of the people he loved was in trouble.

"James," Lily whispered. "James, look at me. Everything will turn out fine. We'll all be okay, Harry and you and me, we'll all get through this okay."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Lily pulled herself as close to James as she could and he held onto her tightly, burying his head in her hair. They stood like that until Harry started babbling about something.

"What's that Harry?" James asked, scooping his son out of the swing.

Harry repeated his babbling. The two were convinced that Harry was an exceptionally smart baby, but then, all first time parents are.

"James, he's pointing at something."

"What's he pointing at?" James and Lily both turned to see a shaggy black dog poking his nose around the boxes.

"Nuncle Irius!" Harry exclaimed happily as the dog sniffed his feet.

"Hello Sirius," Lily laughed, "I suppose Peter's here too?"

The dog transformed into Sirius Black, "He's around here somewhere. I lost him crossing the yard."

"What are you doing here Padfoot?" James asked, "I thought you were making arrangements for your hiding."

"Already taken care of," Sirius waved his hand in dismissal, "Besides, I've had a wonderful idea about your going into hiding."

"Padfoot, I've already told you, we are not going to change our names, go to America, and join the circus."

"Not that," Sirius took Harry from James and began to search the room, "Why aren't you already moved in?"

"James doesn't want to use magic," Lily replied, slipping an arm around James.

"You worry about too much. How would you feel if I told you that you could be in hiding as soon as you got moved in?"

James looked immediately interested. "Are you serious?"

"Of course, or have you forgotten your best friend's name?"

"Padfoot," James growled.

"Relax James, I'm being perfectly serious. We can have you, Lily-Billy and the little Marauder all hidden safely before sunset tonight."

"How?"

"With the Fidelius Charm, as planned," Sirius replied, still looking around the room for something.

"What are you looking for?" Lily asked.

"Wormtail, of course. Oh, there he is!" Sirius spotted the man in rat form scurrying through the door. Harry was pointing at the new arrival again.

Peter changed back into his normal form and stood up, "Sorry, that yard is a lot bigger when you're small!"

"What's the plan Padfoot?" James asked, walking over and closing the door.

"I'll tell you in a minute, but not until you finish moving in," Sirius replied, nodding to the wand that was poking out of James' pocket.

James sighed, drew his wand, and waved it. Instantly everything belonging to the Potter's was in the house, unpacked, and in the proper place.

"That's better," Sirius sat on the couch, bouncing his godson up and down on his knee. Harry burbled on happily.

"So?" Lily asked, sitting down at the other end of the couch. James sat between her and Sirius and Peter sat in a nearby chair.

"We can perform the Fidelius Charm tonight." Sirius replied.

"But we need another person and Dumbledore can't come until Thursday night." James replied.

"We don't need another person if Peter is the Secret-Keeper and I perform the spell," Sirius replied.

"But you were going to be our Secret-Keeper," Lily looked at Sirius, "And Peter can't perform the Charm. No offense Peter."

"None taken," Peter replied, knowing fully well that Lily was right; he couldn't pull off the spell.

"But everyone will know that I'm your Secret-Keeper. They'll all come after me, but they won't suspect Peter simply because he's not the strongest or the smartest," Sirius explained, "You'll be safer this way. They won't think to even bother with Peter. And I'll be able to check on him and protect him. I could even become his Secret-Keeper. They'd never be able to find you."

"You want m-me to be Secret-Keeper?" Peter asked, hardly believing his luck.

"Lily? James?" Sirius asked. Harry made an indignant noise so Sirius added, "Harry?"

"I say yes, it sounds like a good idea Sirius. And I'll be glad to not have to worry about being safe at night anymore," Lily looked to James for his opinion.

"Do you agree Wormtail?" James asked, "Do you fully understand what this means and how it might affect your life?"

"Y-yes, I understand," Peter stuttered, struggling to decide whether or not to agree to the proposition.

"Will you agree to become our Secret-Keeper?"

Peter hesitated for a second and then said, "Yes," figuring he didn't have to tell Voldemort the secret, at least not just yet.

"No!" Harry burbled but his parents ignored him; he had been using the word 'no' a lot in the past week or two.

"Then it's all settled, let's go ahead and perform the Charm now!" Sirius exclaimed. He handed Harry to Lily and pulled his wand out and pointed it at the four the spell would affect.

After a second, the Potters were no longer visible to him but Peter remained sitting in the chair he had occupied.

"Did it work?" Peter asked, peering at the Potters seated in front of him, "I still see you."

"You should Pete; after all, you're Secret-Keeper," Lily informed him.

"It worked!" Sirius cried at the same time that Lily spoke, knowing that since Peter still saw them and now he couldn't that they were safely hidden.

"Wormtail, tell Sirius the secret so that he can see us," James instructed, "Otherwise he's going to drive us all batty."

Peter nodded and relayed the secret to Sirius. Immediately the Potter trio sprang into view.

"Ah hah! All applaud the wonderful spell work of the great Sirius Black!" Sirius bowed and Harry clapped his hands and laughed at his godfather's antics.

"See, someone loves me," Sirius pouted, "I'll leave the three of you to, ah… settle in."

Lily turned slightly pink but James just grinned wolfishly at his best friend's innuendo, which was exactly how James was planning to spend his first night in their new home. With a wave, Sirius turned and walked out the door. He was closely followed by Peter.

"So, you hungry?" Lily asked as she stood up and placed Harry back into his swing.

"Very," James replied, following his wife and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"Well, then you'd better let go because I can't make dinner if you won't let go of me."

"You make it sound like you don't like me," James teased.

"James Potter, don't you even suggest that!" Lily exclaimed, turning around and smacking her husband lightly on the chest.

"Let's put Harry to bed and then have dinner," James suggested, "We haven't had a special dinner just the two of us in a long time."

"As long as Harry doesn't object," Lily picked her young son up again and started towards the stairs.

"Hold on, you go and change into something nice and I'll take care of Harry," James took the baby from his wife before she could object.

"But we can't go anywhere," Lily protested, "There's nobody to look after Harry."

"We're not going to go anywhere Lils. Go get ready and you'll see."

Lily threw her husband a skeptical look and headed up the stairs.

"Okay Marauder, ready for bed? I need some alone time with your mum if you want any brothers or sisters, you know what I mean?"

Harry stared back at his father's hazel eyes with his green ones and blinked.

"Good, that's my little Marauder. I knew that Padfoot's idea about making you a MIT was a good one. You're an excellent Marauder-in-training."

Harry just burbled happily and they went upstairs to put Harry to bed.

* * *

Peter struggled with his conscious for the first time in a long time. Should he go and tell Voldemort about his becoming Secret-Keeper? Should he betray his friends to the Dark Lord? Surely they wouldn't be killed. Voldemort only wanted to keep them from fighting against him. He wanted them to join his side, the wining side.

Peter wouldn't be betraying his friends, he'd be helping them. Harry would grow up to be a very influential part of society, the Potters would be loved and revered throughout their entire lives and they would be in debt to Peter.

Besides, the Dark Lord would find out anyway. Even if Peter didn't go and tell him, he would find out that the Potters were in hiding and Peter was their Secret-Keeper.

And so, convinced that he was helping them, Peter set off to meet with Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters, completely forgetting that Sirius was supposed to drop by and check on him later that night.

"My plan is now complete Wormtail. You really are a rat; betraying the only people who have ever cared for you. Perhaps the Mudblood will forgive you; she doesn't have to die."

The color drained from Peter's mousy face, "You're going to kill them?"

"What did you think I was going to do, idiot? They've refused to join me twice. You've just signed the death warrants on the only two people that have ever cared about you."

"NO!" Peter squeaked, pinching himself as if hoping it was a dream. When he realized it wasn't he threw himself in front of Voldemort. "You can't kill them! Not little Harry!"

"Ah, the brat's name is Harry? I'll have to remember that as I kill him. Severus, tie him up; we wouldn't want him interfering, would we?"

"No Master, we wouldn't want that." Snape replied, coming forward with his wand drawn and pointing it at Peter. Ropes shot out of it and tied him up, just like they would do to Sirius in twelve years.

"NO!" Peter struggled to break free of the bonds, "Kill me instead! Just leave them alive!"

Voldemort paused and turned back to face Peter. "I will deal with you later Wormtail. You have served me well. Do not ruin that now. The boy must die or all will fail."

Peter's struggles grew weaker and weaker as Voldemort and all his Death Eaters left for Godric' Hollow and the Potter's House. It was Halloween, 1981.

* * *

It wasn't for another twenty minutes of thinking that Peter realized what a huge mistake he had made. He knew that even if Lily was left alive, she would never forgive him for killing her husband and son. He also realized that there was no way that she would survive. She would never watch as her husband and child were murdered. She was brave, there was no denying that.

Suddenly Peter was filled with energy again; he would go and save them. There was still time. Sure, he wasn't the best dueler but he had the element of surprise. The adrenaline pumping through his body somehow allowed him to pull the previously immovable ropes off of his body. It wasn't until he was free that he realized he could have just changed into animagus form to escape.

But Peter didn't stop to think about that. Instead he tore out of the room and dashed outside to disapparate.

He managed to reach Godric's Hollow at the same time that the Dark Mark was being shot into the sky above the Potter residence. The Death Eaters were ransacking the little village up the road. Voldemort had proceeded alone to Lily, James and Harry.

Peter sprinted up the path with his wand drawn and through the open door to see Voldemort and James locked in a duel.

"Peter!" James cried from his position dueling with Voldemort in front of the stairs. "What did you do?"

"I'm sorry!" Peter cried, "I thought I was helping you!"

Voldemort laughed, "How touching. Too bad it's the last time you'll see him, Potter."

Peter pointed his wand at the back of his Master and hurled a curse at him. Voldemort expected this and blocked it before sending a spell back at Peter.

"Wormtail, you've helped me and I've forgiven you for your earlier mental lapse, do not make me question my judgment. You're lucky that I'm in such a forgiving mood."

Peter ignored his arm which had been cut from shoulder to wrist and was now bleeding everywhere.

"Where are Lily and Harry?" Peter demanded.

"They should be gone by now!" James replied while blocking a curse sent his way by Voldemort.

Peter said nothing more but instead abandoned James and charged up the stairs towards Lily and Harry.

"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort bellowed, finally losing his short patience and deciding that he couldn't risk Harry getting away in order to have fun killing James who had been annoying him for a very long time.

There was a flash of blinding green light and James Potter fell to the floor with his hazel eyes blazing with anger and his wand still clutched tightly in hid hand. Voldemort laughed his evil laugh and hurried to follow Wormtail up the stairs.

* * *

"Give him to me Lily!" Peter begged, "He doesn't want to kill you, just Harry!"

"That's ridiculous, why would he want to kill a baby? Get away from me you traitor! I will not give you my son in order for you to hand him over to Voldemort!" Lily's green eyes blazed with anger as she argued with the traitorous Peter.

"I won't give him to anyone but Sirius! I promise!"

"Your promises mean nothing," Lily spat. Lily's eyes filled with tears as the shout of 'Avada Kedavra' was head through the house along with a flash of green light. "You promised to protect this family when you became our Secret-Keeper and now because of you, James is probably dead!"

"Lily, give me the baby!" Peter reached for Harry but Lily drew her wand on him.

"Never."

Peter drew his own wand and pointed at her, "Don't make me do this, because I will in order to save Harry. If you don't give him to me, you'll both die."

Lily blasted Peter with a curse and he was thrown out the window of Harry's room. She was halfway to the window herself when Voldemort walked through the door.

"I think not." He waved his wand and the window and door both shut and sealed themselves, "You foolish girl, you just threw your only chance of saving your son out the window. But you can still save yourself."

* * *

And then followed the battle that we have all heard tale of, the battle of a loving mother trying to save her child from the evil in the world. And Lily Evans Potter never shed a tear for herself, never had a thought beyond that first 'I've lost him' about the fact that she had just lost the only love in her life. No, Lily Evans Potter instead died to save her 14 month old baby. And Peter Pettigrew finally recognized his first glimpse of selfless love.

You may wonder why Peter didn't tell this tale to Sirius and Remus when he was being threatened with his life. Why didn't such a cowardly person try to save his own skin by singing his own praises?

Well, the truth is that Peter Pettigrew was not a coward. He was in fact, extremely brave. He would have died to fix his mistake that night. And when faced with his own murder, he couldn't bring himself to expose his exemplary deeds because somewhere inside, he knew he deserved to die for what he had done.

But Lily Evans Potter unknowingly saved him from death that night, a death that Harry would have shared had she handed her baby over to her old friend. Instead, she gave them both a chance to live a long life in exchange for her own.

Why, you ask would Peter and Harry have died that night? Well, after all, Voldemort would know that Peter had Harry. He would easily have tracked Peter with the Dark Mark burned into his arm and killed them both.

But that is not what happened. And, because it is not what happened, Harry now has the chance to defeat Voldemort and save the wizarding world as we know it. And, because it is not what happened, Voldemort now has a servant in debt to his enemy Harry Potter. But there is still another small chapter left of our story. After all, why did Peter fake his own death instead of allowing Sirius to kill him then? And how did he end up at the Weasley's?

* * *

_I fake my death, its brilliant!_ Peter thought, fearing that Voldemort's Death Eaters would murder him _Harry's safe. I'm sure that Dumbledore and Sirius took care of him. Sirius will have a trial and tell everyone that I was Secret-Keeper not him and he won't go to Azkaban. And once I'm safe I'll return and explain everything to him and to Remus and Harry and we'll raise him like our own son. We'll be the Marauders again. Harry can take James place._

But Peter wondered how to fake his death? Of course he would probably need to invoke his animagus abilities, but he needed a plan before the inevitable appearance of Sirius. If he was lucky then he wouldn't even have to face his old friend.

But, that was it! Everyone would already think that Sirius was responsible for James and Lily's deaths so he might as well make it look like he was hunting him down to avenge their deaths. Then he'd make it look like Sirius had blown him up or something and cut his finger off so they didn't look too hard for body parts and turn into Wormtail and journey into the sewers.

_It's a brilliant plan. Now, if I was Sirius, thinking about if he was me in this situation, where would I go, where would I go? _Peter's face lit up as he got the answer, _**Pluto Pizza** of course!_

When Peter got to the town that **_Pluto Pizza_** was located in, he pulled out his wand and carried it behind his back. He was careful that no Muggle would catch sight of him.

Sirius had been trying to think like Peter for the better part of the day. But suddenly a thought hit him; there was only one place that Peter would go at a time like this, **_Pluto Pizza_**.

He checked his pocket to be sure that his wand was still there. Once he was sure that it was, he took a deep breath and made his way towards **_Pluto Pizza_**.

The two ran into each other while crossing the street to get to their destination. In fact, they nearly knocked each other down.

"WORMTAIL!" Sirius exclaimed angrily.

"P-padfoot," Peter replied, swallowing and taking a deep breath.

You know the story of what happened next, twelve Muggles were killed by the 'gas explosion' and Sirius was arrested whilst laughing his head off. But why was he laughing, you ask? It was because of something that Peter said as he blew up the street.

"I'm sorry!" Peter cried over the noise of the explosion. Sirius decided he was losing it, surely not even Peter could think that 'sorry' would cover the damage he had done, could cover the death of two dear friends and the orphaning of their young son.

"I made a mistake!" Peter's voice sounded again, "But I did what I could to fix it."

And that was what caused Sirius to laugh. He laughed even though it was not particularly funny. He laughed even though his two best friends were dead and he would probably be sent to Azkaban without a trial courtesy of Barty Crouch. He laughed because he was half crazy with guilt that he had basically caused the death of two of his friends and suspected the wrong third one of betraying them. He laughed because Peter had made his mission so easy, he had blown himself up. He laughed because there was nothing else for him to do for the tears refused to come. He laughed because Peter had just made the biggest understatement; 'I made a mistake'. He laughed… He laughed.

* * *

"They say he's crazy," a faraway voice came to Peter's ears months later as he lay beside the road, sick from lack of food and starving and still in his rat form.

"I know what they say Charlie," a second voice said.

"Percy, why do you have to be such a know-it-all? And you'd better not let Mum know that you know all about Sirius Black." The first voice, Charlie, warned.

Peter's ears pricked and he felt a small stab of hope. Perhaps these young wizards would help him. Peter was suddenly picked off the ground by a small, toddling, red-haired boy of about two years of age.

"Ron, put that down!" Charlie commanded.

"No! Give him here," Percy exclaimed bossily, "You can heal him Charlie!"

Charlie sighed, "Fine, but be careful about showing him to Mum. Be sure to keep him out of the kitchen."

"Scabbers!" Ron announced, peering at the rat that he was still holding onto.

"You can't name him; he's mine!" Percy protested.

"Scabbers!" Ron stuck his tongue out at Percy.

"Let it go Percy; Ron's already attached to the name. You're going to have to go with it." Charlie took the half-starved rat from his toddler brother, "Carry Ron Perce; I have to carry Scabbers."

* * *

And so, Peter Pettigrew became a part of the Weasley family. He was loved, fed and well taken care of. After Percy got an owl for becoming Prefect, he became the property of the boy who had christened him; Ronald Bilius Weasley, best friend to Harry James Potter.

* * *

And so ends the story of Peter Pettigrew, the mousy boy with the constant struggle against instincts. Or, at least, what I shall tell you of his story, for it is not yet over.

But I must make it clear, one last time, that Peter Pettigrew is, in fact, a brave boy who deserved to be placed in Gryffindor. He should not be hated for his mistakes, even though they caused the death of two of his best friends as well as the imprisonment of a third. Without Peter Pettigrew, there would be no Marauders. Without Peter Pettigrew, there would be no Harry Potter. Without Peter Pettigrew, there would be no story...

**And, for that, at least, we must thank him.

* * *

**

_AN: I just wanted to write something that would make you think about Peter Pettigrew. I know that you all probably hate him, but I was thinking about it and I realized that he is only human and we all make mistakes. Sometimes, we just need a little help remembering that..._

_Love From,_

_MotherCrumpet_


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